Premonition

I have the same dream, over and over

Where I’m running as though I’m trying to

Reach infinity

Picking up the pace, across the green fields

I’m running as the clock is ticking, and

I must reach the sea

 

Then I am there, the water before me

A carpet of blue that reaches out to

The ends of my sight

But the ocean will not stop me racing

As my eyes gaze to the horizon, that’s

Darkening with night

 

Then suddenly I’m no longer running

But skimming the surface of the waves, their

Salt spray all around

And then their power has lifted me up

Propelling me through a sky filled with stars –

Heavenward I’m bound

 

But just as I savour sweet freedom’s touch

Of wind billowing through my hair, it stops

And my breath catches –

Now I’m plunging at impossible speed

To earth and reality, as before

Me my life flashes

 

I wake as sweat pours off from my body

While fear courses through my blood, and a sharp

Tightness strikes my heart

I know what it is; I know why I’ve seen

This premonition, showing me just what

Will tear me apart

 

It’s time for change, to take action at last

The prophecy shows there’s only one way

The truth is revealed –

With indecision, life will race on by

The weak, the unsure, left cruelly to rot

On this battlefield

 

Image: Dali, Archaeological Reminiscence of Millet’s Angelus

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9 thoughts on “Premonition

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    1. The notion makes me think of hurrying through life without focus or purpose, endlessly finding distractions to fill the time but never really realising why we are here…

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      1. As might be evident from my earlier comment on your poem, struggling for perfection is a theme I’m just too familiar with. Maybe more than I want to.

        These are my views as a reader not a writer.

        **

        Either write in first person or omniscient third person, changing the POV in between the prose often ends up being confusing.

        Do not change your tenses too much.

        Another thing, there were no drums in fourteenth century.🙂

        If you ask, I might suggest some alternative approaches but then the story would not truly be yours and I do not want that.

        In simple terms, do not change the point of view in the story, it creates unnecessary confusion. 

        Necessary confusion on the other hand keeps the reader guessing.☺

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Stupid me, I forgot to mention that this particular comment was in regards to your short story, capturing perfection.
        I really liked the story. As I’m a painter too, I can relate to lot of words from that.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thank you very much for your thoughts! Much appreciated. I normally don’t write in first person and experimented a bit here so it’s good to know what does/ doesn’t work! I’ll have a look over (and into the tenses too) and your thoughts will be particularly useful as I edit the longer accompanying story as well (yet to be finished..). Glad you liked the premise though and could relate 🙂

        >

        Liked by 1 person

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